CONVERSATION DYNAMICS
INTRODUCTION

Conversational skills will make you, and lack of them will break you. You may be the homeliest guy on the planet, but if you're good with words you can still have some serious game with women. It's not hard to be good with words - just pay attention to what you say and how you say it. Speak audibly - don't mumble or stutter, and put life into your hello's and goodbyes.

HOW TO BE A TRUE PLAYER
INTRODUCING THE 'KILLER INSTINCT

Most women are attracted to players. But many have too much of an ego to get with one. If they know that you're a player, then they know that there's a chance that they're going to get played and they don't want to give you that power. So never show your true colors.

THE FIRST ELEMENT: MANNER
"manner (n) : a way of acting or behaving"

If your presence and regal bearing have given women the impression that you're an important person and that you're considered an important person by others, manner, as we use it here, refers to how you act and behave in relation. What, then, is the manner of a charismatic persona?

THE SECOND ELEMENT: ENIGMA
"enigma (n) : An action, mode of action, or thing, which cannot be satisfactorily explained"

In a world growing increasingly dull and familiar, what seems enigmatic instantly draws attention. Especially when it comes to today's dating / relationship arena. Many women tend to rate guys in the same grouping: little self-control, jerks when they don't get what they want, egotistical, loud, boring, macho, aggressive. . . So anything you can do to distance yourself from this group of "typical guys" stands to get you noticed - because your distance cannot be quickly and easily explained.

The attraction of enigma can be explained as follows: It invites layers of interpretation, excites women's imagination, deceives them into believing that it conceals something exciting.

In the dating / relationship arena, you've got true charisma women will come to you. They can read by your presence, bearing, and manner if you're the rare kind of guy that is used to having women pursue him, as a person with true charisma is, and in a woman's subconscious mind her dream guy (Mr. Right) is a guy with true charisma. (Most women never meet their dream guy.) So if you put off the aura, suddenly her imagination is going to take over and she's going to wonder. . . Take note - she hasn't even met you and subconsciously she's already comparing you to Mr. Right. In the end, her imagination fuels the attraction.

Imagination. . . This is why enigma is a powerful element of charisma. It was one of Casanova's secrets - women who had heard of his accomplishments wondered what made him so romantically successful. Their imaginations ignited, they had to find out for themselves. Scholars like to say that it was Casanova's skills of seduction that landed him all his women - but seduction really didn't have much to do with it, in this case. He'd never met these women and yet they wanted to get with him. "Popularity" is a common result of charisma. In this case it elevated Casanova to near celebrity status.

There you are - with your presence, bearing, manner, and finesse - women notice you and think, What is it about him that makes him stand out? Why does he look so confident? He looks like a success in life. . . What is it about him?

Enigma: Mystery in the Making

Never make it too clear what you are doing or about to do. Never reveal your plans or intentions.

Don't show all your cards. Keep things back by being purposely vague.

Be subtly unpredictable. Focus on the little things: If you're out on the nightscene, mix up your selection of drinks from time to time; don't frequent the same clubs; change your appearance slightly; grow a goatee for a few days; don't return a phone call immediately - return a phone call immediately. Make plans and be early - the next time be late; etc. . .

Important people impress by saying less - you should keep your words to a minimum - just enough to keep the conversation rolling... And don't volunteer much information about yourself - instead, get her to volunteer information about herself. But do this in a way that doesn't make you seem too inquisitive or too interested - both signs of someone with little self-control, and therefore someone lacking true charisma. The key here to this conversation is to be casual and non-aggressive. To accomplish the casual, non-aggressive attitude, one trick is to make yourself believe that you're not interested in her unless she goes out of her way to impress you. Make her "sell" herself to you with her words and personality. (When it's all said and done, she should be thinking that you were a "great person to talk to" - and then she'll realize that she doesn't know anything about you. Her imagination is ignited and she'll be back for more.)

An air of enigma heightens your presence; it also creates anticipation - everyone will be watching you to see what you do next. Enigma is an interesting element because it carries over into both arts: It is used in Charisma. And It is used in Seduction. So make yourself familiar with enigma. Start practicing it on a daily basis with anyone you're in contact with. Then stand back and watch the results - you'll notice people paying you a lot more attention when you're around.

Don't imagine that to create an air of enigma you have to be beautiful or powerful. Enigma that is used in your day-to-day manner, and is subtle, has that much more power to ignite the imagination and attract attention. The fact is, most people are up front and pay little notice to their words or image. These people are completely predictable. By simply holding back, keeping certain things to yourself, and being deliberately vague, you will create an air of enigma. The people around you will then magnify that aura by constantly trying to read you. Imagination is a powerful fire - what wraps itself in enigma will almost always ignite it.

THE THIRD ELEMENT: ALLURE
"allure (n) : the power to entice or attract through personal charm "

Ah, the last of the elements. It is the essence of charisma. But without the other elements, it would never be reached. When we've mentioned "aura" as a part of charisma, allure is that aura. It is infective. Women and guys alike are drawn in. Suddenly you find yourself surrounded by many friends and girlfriends ("groupies"). And once in your presence, it's hard for them to distance themselves - as long as you continue to pay attention to each individual element. For example, diplomacy: When you excel in diplomacy, you learn to make others feel better about themselves, becoming a source of pleasure to them. In fact, they grow dependent on your manner to feel good about themselves. You may call them friends, but psychologically they become your followers. Other people read this - and enigma kicks in and heightens the effect: these other people start to wonder subconsciously: There must be something exceptional ("cool" or "charming") about you that's making people want to be around you. . . What is it? Imaginations start to race.