CONVERSATION DYNAMICS
INTRODUCTION

Conversational skills will make you, and lack of them will break you. You may be the homeliest guy on the planet, but if you're good with words you can still have some serious game with women. It's not hard to be good with words - just pay attention to what you say and how you say it. Speak audibly - don't mumble or stutter, and put life into your hello's and goodbyes.

HOW TO BE A TRUE PLAYER
INTRODUCING THE 'KILLER INSTINCT

Most women are attracted to players. But many have too much of an ego to get with one. If they know that you're a player, then they know that there's a chance that they're going to get played and they don't want to give you that power. So never show your true colors.

A real player never gives women the impression that he's a player.

Instead of focusing on being sly, he focuses on simply appearing confident. Sounds easy, right? Hell, no. Unless you understand how people read other people who display confidence, it's an almost guarantee that you're going to be "read" as being a player, which in reality is a negative when trying to meet fine women in nice clubs. If you're dressed with style and care about your image, it's going to show. First, it's going to get you attention. The women might not be obvious about it, but they do notice you. Those first 30 seconds that you're in the club can prove to set the stage for the rest of the night.

You've heard the saying you never get a second chance to make a first impression? Check this - going into a club well-dressed and clean cut, you don't even have a first chance. You're tagged a "player" the moment you walk through the door.

That ain't good.

Because fine women usually have huge ego's, and they resent the idea that you don't acknowledge them for their super-star status. Each of these fine women, in one way or another, thinks that the world revolves around them, and that includes the guys that they want to get with. If they see you as a player, then they see you as a threat to their strong self-centered set of beliefs. Why? Because if you're a player, then you think that the world revolves around you.

What to do? You've got about 30 seconds to act. First off, start smiling. You're a smiling mo' fucker. But not a cocky smile - a friendly smile. To make this work, you have to have some purpose behind it. If you're with friends, turn your attention to them. Laugh. Bullshit. If you see some other friends, swoop down and say what's up to them. If you recognize a girl you've met before, give her a hug. ( * a little off topic here, but the hug is a true pimp-technique. When women see other women hugging you, they're going to want a piece too.)

Through all of this, the fine women in the club have no idea what you're saying. All they know is that you're dressed with style, clean cut, and appear to be friendly. Most guys, on the other hand, who show style and are clean cut - AND GO CLUBBIN' - are usually players. You're using this stereotype to your advantage.

Confidence plays a role in all of this by making you appear sincere and not fake. Confidence is believing full-force in what you're doing. If you're low in your self-belief when trying something new, you're going to do a half-ass job and it's going to show. Full-force are the key words. This is what will make you stand out. And if you need to fake it early on, the trick to faking it is to fake it with sincerity.

These words in practice:

To demonstrate what we're talking about in the above paragraphs, this week we travel to Seattle's Pioneer Square district, a six block radius of bars and nightclubs located in the heart of downtown where thousands of male and female clubbers alike swoop down for some hard core weekend action. Taking part, we have two guests: Brad Pitt and Jim Cameron. Of course we know Brad Pitt from A River Runs Through It, the early scenes of Meet Joe Black, and also Fight Club. In this scenario, we use Brad Pitt's confident and outgoing character that Hollywood seems to love. Jim Cameron, on the other hand, isn't a Hollywood celebrity, just a twenty-five year old who grew up in T-Town (Tacoma, Washington) and now resides on the Seattle Eastside. As far as women and nightclubs go, Jim's been down with it since day one.

We're outside of The Last Supper Club, smack-dab in Pioneer Square. Look down the street in any direction and you see lines of people at hot dog stands and you also see lines of people waiting to get into the many bars and clubs. The Last Supper Club is one the more trendy spots in the city (at the date of this writing) with a strict dress code of no hats and no tennis shoes. In other words, you need to be looking sharp to get in. The VIP line is in full effect tonight.

We send Brad Pitt in first.

He doesn't even last two minutes. Confident and outgoing and the All-American male, he got player-hated hard. The fine women saw him as a threat to their super ego's.

Sorry, Hollywood - that's real life for you.

Jim goes in next. He tells us to come in with him. Using our passes, we take the VIP entrance. We buy our drinks, Jim surprisingly doesn't. Instead he orders a cup of water and starts a conversation with the bartender, an attractive brunette with nice breasts. It's too loud in the club to hear what they're saying, but Jim keeps the bartender talking for about five minutes. There's more than one bartender working the bar, but a line starts to form anyway behind Jim of guys and women wanting to order drinks. Suddenly the bartender reaches across the bar and hugs Jim, and then kisses him on the cheek. He turns to us, smiling big-time, and shrugs a shoulder, as if he has no idea what that was about.

The women in the line behind him and also the ones at the bar saw the whole thing.

Jim comes back to us. He says, "As soon as she gave me the water, I gave her a five dollar tip. It was easy to keep her talking after that. Then right when I was about to leave, I said, 'I just gave you a five dollar tip. I'm at least gonna get a hug, right?' I didn't ask for the kiss - she threw that in on her own."

We don't need to get into detail now, but it's an easy guess that the women who approached him later on the dance floor had fallen for the cool/friendly act he'd put on at the bar.

So what was the difference between Jim's approach and Brad Pitt's? Brad Pitt thought that just his looks and presence would make women want to approach him, whereas Jim understood that he needed to be a little manipulative and trick women into wanting to approach him. Every guy in the nightclub could be considered a "product" on a store shelf - Jim, a "product" as well - created "demand" for himself when women in the club saw him receiving the attention of the attractive bartender. "Product demand" is a concept in successful marketing because business people understand that it plays off the human psychology "to want what others have."

FINAL WORD

As you've found out by reading this, there really isn't much to being a player. And there really isn't much to picking up women. It all boils down to confidence. And when it comes to confidence, there's no magic formula — you're as confident as you think you are.

Here's a point to think about:

They’re all the same.

What's this mean?

You’ve seen one ho, you’ve seen them all.

Hoes play games. Hoes in Miami pull the same shit as hoes in Seattle. Hoes in New York City pull the same shit as hoes in L.A. And that’s why it’s so easy to be a player. Because you already know what they’re all about.

THE FIRST ELEMENT: MANNER
"manner (n) : a way of acting or behaving"

If your presence and regal bearing have given women the impression that you're an important person and that you're considered an important person by others, manner, as we use it here, refers to how you act and behave in relation. What, then, is the manner of a charismatic persona?

THE SECOND ELEMENT: ENIGMA
"enigma (n) : An action, mode of action, or thing, which cannot be satisfactorily explained"

In a world growing increasingly dull and familiar, what seems enigmatic instantly draws attention. Especially when it comes to today's dating / relationship arena. Many women tend to rate guys in the same grouping: little self-control, jerks when they don't get what they want, egotistical, loud, boring, macho, aggressive. . . So anything you can do to distance yourself from this group of "typical guys" stands to get you noticed - because your distance cannot be quickly and easily explained.

THE THIRD ELEMENT: ALLURE
"allure (n) : the power to entice or attract through personal charm "

Ah, the last of the elements. It is the essence of charisma. But without the other elements, it would never be reached. When we've mentioned "aura" as a part of charisma, allure is that aura. It is infective. Women and guys alike are drawn in. Suddenly you find yourself surrounded by many friends and girlfriends ("groupies"). And once in your presence, it's hard for them to distance themselves - as long as you continue to pay attention to each individual element. For example, diplomacy: When you excel in diplomacy, you learn to make others feel better about themselves, becoming a source of pleasure to them. In fact, they grow dependent on your manner to feel good about themselves. You may call them friends, but psychologically they become your followers. Other people read this - and enigma kicks in and heightens the effect: these other people start to wonder subconsciously: There must be something exceptional ("cool" or "charming") about you that's making people want to be around you. . . What is it? Imaginations start to race.